Q1: Hello, John.
Q1: So I have a, I’m kind of stuck. I feel like there’s this new version of my self arising, that wants to come out in some way, but somehow I am inactive and I’m not sure about, I’m actually hesitating about my desires.
John: What do you mean by a new version of your self?
Q1: I’ve done a lot of inner work because of the pandemic. I’ve been home a lot, I’ve been doing a lot of inner work, spiritual work. I already forgot about your question! I’m just so in my mind all this time, but then again, I know that there’s a very strong intuition in me as well and I just keep on switching.
John: Your inner work that you’re doing is predominantly for your self and about your self, so that keeps the activity of mind circling, even in your spiritual work. The real that you know, the truth that you know that inspires you to enter a spiritual work isn’t about your self’s sense of truth and spirituality. It is about the truth that you know within. It isn’t a work, even though all the work that you’re doing has the truth in it. But it isn’t actually, then, about the truth within; it’s about your sense of self and what the truth within offers your sense of self, which keeps your sense of self at centre, at the centre of it all.
John: The truth within doesn’t begin in your self, with your self, for your self or about your self. The doorway to the truth within is your heart. It isn’t your self, it isn’t a path, it isn’t a work. It doesn’t require your use of mind. It requires just you, awareness, rested in your heart. You, awareness, gentled and quieted, stilled, in your heart. That stillness means that you’re not using your self to be within. You’re not using your mind to be in your heart. So, in your deep inner dwelling within it is without any use of your self. It’s natural to you. It isn’t a doing. It’s in the absence of doing. Without any doing, what remains is being.
It’s like when you lie down to go to sleep. Without any understanding, without you being cognitive about what sleep is, or going to sleep, as you lie down to go to sleep, you, awareness, begin to open, soften, relax without any use of your self, which brings you into your heart and deeper. As you go deeper, your past, your self, your mind with all of its conditioning, your whole life passes away, and there’s just you, awareness, home. It’s so natural to you that it bypasses your mental processes.
That’s how to be within. That’s how to be you, but then in the midst of your mind, in the midst of all of your self, in the midst of all of your life, which means then that you can’t take any of it seriously, because there’s something within that matters more than your self, your past, your life, your genetics, your relationships, and that’s you. You matter more than everything that’s yours.
Q1: Should I see the mind as like a tool for ideas?
John: Your mind is useful for physical existence. It isn’t useful for spirituality. Spirituality, in its essence, is you in everything that’s deeper than your self. It will express through your self, but it doesn’t originate in your self. Its origin has nothing to do with your sense of self, nothing to do with your sense of individuality.
You don’t need your self, your life, or your mind for you to go to sleep. When you lie down, going to sleep is natural to you. When you reach the tipping point to sleep you are way deeper within than even your heart. It’s home to you, even though as you reach the tipping point to sleep, your whole your whole life has disappeared, your self has disappeared. You don’t fear that. You don’t fear the disappearance. You don’t long for your self or miss your self, or miss your life. It’s restful and healing to you to be without it all.
That’s spirituality. It isn’t engageable through familiarity.
Q1: And how can I live my life more from my heart?
John: By being in your heart, not for any result in your self, in your life, and in your relationships. Being in your heart, being what you really are, isn’t result-oriented and you’re not there to get anything. Only authenticity reaches it. It’s natural to authenticity: not the authenticity of your self, but authenticity of you, which comes only by awareness being at rest, awareness fundamentally relaxed, which means that it has need of nothing. It’s at home, without a reason.
When you were really little you were easily like that: without an understanding, without any concept, without having learned it, without being guided into it. It was just natural to you, and being that made your self happy, but you didn’t connect that. So in your self you were happy without a reason.
Q1: Oh, okay. Yeah.
John: Your happiness in your self had no performance in it. It was clean. If someone would have said to you that you’re being what you really are, you wouldn’t know what they’re talking about. If they were to say to you “you are in authentic spirituality, untarnished” you wouldn’t know what they’re talking about. You were naturally being it, from the inside out. It’s the only real way.
Don’t heal. Don’t work on your self. Don’t change. Just deeply, deeply, nurturingly return. It will naturally fulfill everything that you’ve tried to work on. In being that, your self, in time, will become the same, just like when you were really little.
Whatever it is that you are being – whether that is real and true or illusory and false – your self becomes the same. Your self turns into what you are being.
Happy returns. Bye for now.
Q1: Thank you so much.
Q2: Hello John.
Q2: I raised my hand because I had some questions, but after I hear you speaking now they seem to be so far away. There are two subjects I want to ask you about. One is about things happening in the body, and the other one is about consciousness. To make it a bit more clear, last week when there was a talk with Rahel and you said something about what, to connect with what is happening after we die, there were some moments where something went in. It was like understanding of something, and in the same moment my body really gets, it was really like an electric shock and the upper body turned down and high again. It was absolutely out of control – I couldn’t control that – and some strange sound came out of my throat, and then was gone. And this happened two or three times. I know that, but not so strongly from times before. And I heard you speaking about, you showed a picture about what is after death, and you had the picture of the black sky, the universe – black sky. Do you know what I mean? And it’s quite easy to connect to this picture for me, and…
John: It’s what you know and see from deep within when you look into the stars. That engages what you were before you came into a body. It has nothing to do with your self and your life.
Q2: There is sometimes, it’s also very similar to when I walk through nature, that there are touches of moments when something is, it’s really a bit like opening or getting … and it’s only a moment and then it’s gone. For me it seems like it has the same kind of quality or taste of something. And it’s the same when I start being in the meetings, in the online meetings when I see you and look in your eyes. It’s a bit like my eye iris opens up, and then it goes back. It’s just a moment. It’s just a moment when something’s changing and then after that it seems that it’s gone.
John: Moments of recognition. You recognizing, despite anything in your self. As that lands in your body, because it opens up into all of your body, that can produce the kind of experience you had of bending forward and coming back up, and strange sounds coming out of your mouth. The sounds are the sounds of your self in death; the sound of the self when the body dies because for the self it’s over, even though you continue.
When you are in profound recognition that fills your whole body, the same sounds can come through your body of your self. It’s the knowledge of your self, in your self, that it has expired. It isn’t its own meaning. You are its meaning.
Q2: When this is happening it’s really just a moment and then it’s gone. What does it mean that it’s gone? Is there something in my self which tries to stop it, or in my body?
John: If you, without your self, don’t fill your body, your sense of self will take over and it will fill your body.
Q2: Could you repeat it? I didn’t get it right.
John: If you, awareness – what you really are – are not filling your whole body without the use of your self, then your sense of self will take over and fill your body.
Q2: And what is needed that this changes, that the sense of self takes over so?
John: Your sense of self will make up for where you are not.
Q2: Could you please repeat? I didn’t get it!
John: Where you are not really there, your sense of self will make up for that and fill it. Your sense of self will have presence in your body where you are not really there.
John: When you are rested in your heart you are really there, in your body. There, your body is filled with presence of you that has no sense of self. It will move your self in your life, but the movement of your self in all practicalities will be without a sense of self, similar to when you were really little. A love flow that doesn’t originate from any idea. It isn’t grounded in any idea of your self. It isn’t grounded in a sense of individuality. It’s grounded in you, the formless real.
Q2: So when these body things are happening, it could be that in that moment when this is happening that I am really relaxed.
Q2: And then, because of what’s happening, then the relaxation, my personal, my self, sense of self comes in because I was so surprised about it and maybe, so I try to control it again, and the relaxation is gone.
John: You try to have a mind about it.
Q2: And the mind says something like “there’s a block in your system, you have to work on it” or something like that! Okay.
John: That’s funny.
Q2: Yeah. It was so beautiful when you talked about the little child which is free of all those things, just as it is. No thinking, no understanding, no trying to understand. Not doing anything for anything. May I ask you more about consciousness? I heard a talk from you some time ago where you described the coming into the body, about being in the womb of the mother and then being born and how consciousness changes in these different states. And is it the same when we die, that we go back these states of consciousness, back to this place where we have been before we come?
John: Yet you came here into a body to be all of that in all of the form of this life. You didn’t come here to experience life. You didn’t come here for the experience of your self. You came here to be that consciousness, in all form, fulfilling that form: to come into great density of you.
Q2: And then when this is happening, what does it change?
John: You. Because you come into self-knowledge of you, form-knowledge of you, life-knowledge of you.
Q2: And then?
John: Then you are more, much more, having come into a body and life, and then gone again from life. The evolution of you has then been greatly changed. You are no longer the same. All that develops of you survives form, life and death, and remains here.
Q2: So the consciousness is the same?
(Shakes head, no.)
Q2: What is the difference?
John: There’s a potential to consciousness that isn’t determined by what it presently is. That potential comes by consciousness, with awareness, opening into the unknown of what it really is, that it hasn’t been yet. The greatest exoneration of that evolution is consciousness in a body, in form, in density. Consciousness not turning into mind, emotion, will, but consciousness realizing in the midst of all mind. There, the evolution of consciousness brings about the evolution of mind. The opening of form.
Q2: But the evolution of mind and the opening of form will end with the death, with the dying. Consciousness still stays.
John: And continues to evolve naturally but no longer speedily.
Q2: So for the evolution of consciousness is it needed to let go of all that familiarity, things of consciousness which I already learned in this life?
John: Say again?
Q2: For the evolution of consciousness in the lifetime, it is needed to let go of things we are used to, like thinking, doing, structuring, all that’s familiar.
John: Fundamentally, consciousness being what it is without the use of the environment that it’s put in.
Q2: But how to do that or how to be that?
John: In the same way that when you lie down to go to sleep, and as you reach the tipping point to sleep, all is gone, and there you, purely, are.
Q2: So it’s letting go of every control. Just relaxing.
John: Without using any form, any means to do so. You don’t need to ohm, or chant, or sing, or recite, or focus, or meditate, to fall asleep. You love falling asleep and in your self, in your mind, it’s a mystery because it doesn’t come from your self. It all originates in you.
Q2: What is happening in that tipping point? Because it just, I start sleeping and then I start dreaming.
John: As soon as you fall asleep you are in your self again, but there, you are in your subconsciousness. You are in the underside of your self.
Q2: But it’s my self and it’s the same consciousness then, while dreaming – just the other side of it – and it’s really just this little point when there’s a falling asleep, where this, the tipping point …
John: Right at the tipping point where you’re not asleep, yet everything is gone: that’s pure you. Up to that point is your self. After that point is your self.
Q2: And I cannot be aware of this tipping point, really? I cannot be aware of it.
John: You are aware in it, but there is no mental awareness, no self awareness, no life awareness, no past awareness. It’s you awareness. It’s purely unlike your whole existence.
Q2: And so there is no conscious memory.
John: Memory has to do with your self.
John: But there’s knowledge. You know. But it isn’t knowledge projected by mind.
Your mind, altered and renewed because of you, consciousness, being here. The mind reflecting consciousness instead of the mind reflecting the past of your self. Beautiful. As we meet as consciousness, we meet as one: one and the same, but different. And that difference magically moves you, and as it does we are one and the same. But there’s a difference and it moves you. And we are one and the same. You, consciousness, changing.
Now you know, again, but differently. Staid in this, while you live, and your self will go through a cleaning process. It will go through the throes of death. It’ll go through a detox because of it being fed only the pure.
Bye for now, my love.
Q2: Thank you, John.
Q3: Hi John.
Q3: All my questions are used to fall away when I’m in contact with you, but I feel like there is not really anything to know or understand. Am I right with this or is it or is it like pushing away something, avoiding something?
John: When you are in time, in space and in time, freed of your self, you’ll easily not want to go back to your self, yet you came into a body to be in a genetic self and this whole not-real world.
We meet, we flow, we move. You’ll have to go back to your self. As you do, instead of being your self, be this flow, this movement, this streaming, all into your self and into the world without you turning into any of it. It’s similar to when you were very little.
Q3: There’s the fear to get lost again in myself and in the world.
John: You can’t get lost in your self or in the world without you being given to it. If you are given to this magical flow of you, it isn’t possible for you to be taken by your self and the world.
Q3: Will this also happen by itself, or is it…?
John: If you don’t use anything else for you to be this, yes. Pure you doesn’t come from your self and it doesn’t come from the world, so don’t look for it there.
Q3: Is it the other way around? My self and the world are coming from me?
John: Your self comes from genetics, what your ancestors have been, and the world comes from illusion, even though the earth is real. The renewed self comes from you. The familiar one doesn’t.
Q3: The familiar one, it will change by staying true to who I am. Or is there anything else to do? And all detachments will also happen by staying true to who I am, right?
John: That’s different from the path, which is using your self to be true to what you really are. That path isn’t real. You are true to you only through core relaxation, core restedness. It isn’t possible through your self. You can get closer through your self, you can get closer through a path, you can get closer through learning, but as you come near you cannot go further with any of it. Through almost anything you can come to the door, but only you may enter. You can’t enter bringing what you came with.
Q3: Can this mind trying to do it come into the way, or isn’t it possible to come in the way?
John: If you’re given to your mind, then it’s your mind that will have you. Whatever you are given to will have you. Use your mind, use your self, use your life, without being given to any of it.
Bye for now.
Q3: Thank you.